20 things you need to stop doing to deal with change better

Insights from “Who moved my cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson 

An amazing way to deal with change in your work and in your life

The word ‘change’ and its implications is debilitating to many. People are often afraid of change. The sayings “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” or “A leopard can’t change its spots” are just excuses for not adapting or embracing change. There are also positive sayings for example “a change is like a holiday”. 

Think about your current situation, your family, your circle of friends or the colleagues in your team. You all have different goals and motivations for why you do certain things. For some it might be ambition, money, family, material things, enjoying good health or developing a spiritual sense of wellbeing… 

Everyone’s motivation is different and this affects how we deal with change. If we can read people well and understand their motivations, we can use our insight to manage how we position change and speak to different individuals in a unique way to address their fears or uncertainty and help them embrace change quicker. 

Sometimes we are forced to change, whether we like it or not. We hardly ever end up being exactly the same as we were a few years ago. Our experiences and the people we interact with teach us vital lessons about ourselves. When we reflect and distill these lessons and change the way we respond to similar situations in the future, we can see how much we've grown. 

We change from the moment we are born. We learn to crawl and then walk, to talk, we figure out what we like and what we don’t, we go to school, pursue tertiary education of some sort to ultimately get a job where we earn money to achieve our goals (regardless of what it may be) and then we date, we get married, we have kids, we go through the cycle our parents went through with us, we move house, we change jobs, we get promoted, we retire and then wait for the inevitable. 

Every day we are subjected to change. Sometimes we are ‘gently nudged’ like when your favourite radio station shakes up their daily line up and you have to stream another show or your hairdresser goes overboard and your hair ends up a lot shorter than would have liked. Or we are forced, like when you upgrade your phone and learn a new operating software or are retrenched. 

A friend gave me a copy of ‘Who moved my cheese’ and the simple lessons give you lots of food for thought...

What is the story about?

The story is told when a group of school friends are at their reunion and reflect on their lives and how they’ve dealt with change, whether in a good or bad way, and the lessons they’ve learnt. One person in the group relays the story of Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw. 

Who moved my cheese is a story about two mice and two little people who are in a maze, which could be a metaphor for life (not one long corridor but passages that lead in different directions depending on the choices you make) or a situation you currently find yourself in. 

The two mice, Sniff and Scurry, are able to use their animal characteristics (simple and good instincts) to deal with change. The two little people, Hem and Haw, find it more difficult to adapt to change because of their beliefs and emotions, which cloud the way they look at things. Between the two of them it takes longer to adapt and deal with change. But eventually one embraces it faster than the other. 

The four characters are also meant to be the different parts of you and speak to how you deal with change.

After this story is told the group reflects and discusses how they’ve interpreted the lessons that the mice and little people learnt and how they could apply these lessons to their lives.

The 20 points below are some of the insights from the book that stood out for me and when you apply them, you will be able to deal with change better.

1. Don’t focus on what you could lose but rather what you could gain

We tend to expect the worst from change. Change your perspective from losing something to gaining something. Also, change happens to all of us. But often we think that we aren’t afraid of change and our perception is that other people are afraid of it. Often we resist change because of a “if it ain’t broke” attitude. Remember that a change imposed is a change opposed, this insight helps when you are managing or responsible for implementing a change with a group of people. Sometimes it’s not necessarily changing the situation but your beliefs or perceptions about it.

2. Don’t become complacent, comfortable and stuck in routine – take action

Often we get comfortable. We like routine. We like to know what’s coming and what to do. However, we need to always be prepared, like a boy scout. 

“Noticing small changes early helps you to adapt to the bigger changes that are to come”

We need to constantly assess situations and be ready to react and respond when things are no longer the way it used to be or we require a different result. Our attitudes often determine how we deal with change. Don’t just expect things and feel like you are entitled to them. Don’t become possessive and hog stuff – share your knowledge, wisdom and insight. Be open to learn and don’t just dismiss things or people. Keep your finger on the pulse and continue to learn and develop yourself this will help you to be proactive and deal with change better.

“Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old”

3. Don’t become so obsessed with your cheese that it is your everything. 

“Having cheese makes you happy”. We need to learn to enjoy our ‘cheese’. We shouldn’t become obsessed with it and it shouldn’t make us verbose or obnoxious. Don’t always look for the next best thing. You can only appreciate where you are going or what you have if you reflect and are grateful for how far you’ve come and what you’ve achieved.

4. Don’t be obsessed with the present 

Don’t become so focused on the present that you can’t anticipate what’s coming. The mice in the story inspected their situation daily and therefore weren’t surprised and caught off-guard when the situation changed. 

5. Don’t overanalyse

Sometimes what you see is what you get. When the situation changed Sniff and Scurry changed. Be pliable – adapt – be open to possibilities and opportunities.

“The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find new cheese”

6. Don’t play the victim or blame others

Don’t become frustrated and angry and blame others for the change. People who are not observant are often blindsided by the change. They are unprepared and end up resisting, fighting and becoming irrational in their responses. Hem felt that what was happening to him was not fair and he couldn’t move past this point. He couldn’t see any possibilities. 

Don’t rant about all the injustice. Don’t blame others and feel you didn’t contribute to the problem. Don’t wallow in self-pity, depression or negativity. This will attract more of this sort of energy towards you. A healthy, positive attitude will get you far.

7. Don’t concentrate on your fears

Don’t let your fear of change incapacitate or paralyse you. Often our fears are much worse than reality. Don’t block things out, like a kid playing peekaboo by covering their eyes. Just because you don’t acknowledge or admit something, doesn’t mean it won’t happen or isn’t real. Take control. Don’t let things happen to you.

“When you stop being afraid you feel good”

“It is safer to search in the maze, than remain in a cheeseless situation.”

8. Don’t keep doing the same thing expecting a different result

This is the definition of insanity! 

9. Don’t think you are better than anyone else -  be open to learn

10. Don’t dwell on finding a ‘story’ where there is none - don’t become a conspiracy theorist.

11. Don’t be scared to discover new things and explore new opportunities. It might be better than anything you’ve experienced before.

12. Don’t be weighed down by people who refuse to adapt to change – they will hold you back.

13. Don’t start going 120 kilometers in the wrong direction

Hem and Haw start breaking down the wall to look for cheese in the place they knew and felt safe. There is a difference between activity and productivity.

14. Don’t just sit it out

The longer you take to acknowledge, adapt and change the worse off you’ll be.

15. Don’t reside yourself to a situation or an outcome

Work on your confidence. Visualise what you want to achieve in your mind’s eye and then pursue it with vigor. Not everyone has epiphanies at the same time. Learn to let go and move on quickly. If you need to admit your flaws or a failure, do it and get over it fast.

“If you do not change, you can become extinct”

“Imaging yourself enjoying your new cheese leads you to it”

16. Don’t give up or be defeated. 

Often if one thing doesn’t pan out it’s because something better is on its way.

“Movement in a new direction helps you find new cheese”

17. Don’t succumb to the scarcity mentality

Rather than fretting about not having something or enough of something, be grateful for what you have and adopt an attitude and energy of abundance.

18. Don’t obsess about what could go wrong 

Concentrate on what could go right.

“Old beliefs do not lead to new cheese” - New beliefs encourage new behaviours.

19. Don’t hold on to anything to tightly.

“The more important your cheese is to you the more you want to hold on to it”. 

20. Don’t be your biggest challenge

“The biggest inhibitor to change lies within yourself and that nothing gets better until you change.

Changing your perspective and approach can lead to learning and growing. When we are open to possibilities and embrace change we end up having a richer, more fulfilled experience.  Good luck!