A review of Gloria Serobe's 'An Ode to My Mother-in-Law, Winnie Serobe… A mentorship of love and honour'

Life lessons we can all benefit from

Hot off the press, ‘An Ode to My Mother-in-law, Winnie Serobe… a mentorship of love and honour’ written by Gloria Serobe launched on National Women’s Day (9 August 2023) in South Africa. This auspicious date also marks the 10th anniversary of Winnie Serobe’s passing. Gloria’s book reflects on her relationship with her mother-in-law, the lessons Mama Winnie imparted to her and how the application of these lessons has improved the lives of so many people that Mama Winnie has touched.

Gloria credits a big part of her success to Mama Winnie’s networks that she exposed her to very early on in her career. And the lessons and learnings around caring for the community, lifting as your rise, the true meaning of living a life of service and asking the question, “Is what I’m doing good for all South Africans?”, is some of the things we can all apply in our daily lives. 

In the book, Gloria reflects on her journey with the Serobe family, and they are nothing short of gems. They had great matriarch examples who accepted the spouses their children chose. They built their family not through resistance and exclusion, but through acceptance, inclusion, teaching, and learning. 

The Serobe family ‘formally’ included Gloria’s son Zani in the lobola discussions and got the permission from her family to take him over (she refers to this as a black way of adopting). Mama Winnie also insisted that Zani live with Gloria and Gaur once they were married. Zani was considered a Serobe and all the traditions around him were Serobe traditions. As Gloria grew older, she started to understand the magnitude of these gestures.

Gloria sharing her wisdom with Old Mutual employees

In a society and culture that villainises mothers-in-law, this book, through Mama Winnie and Gloria’s special relationship, exemplifies how love, kindness, understanding, a high Emotional Quotient (EQ) and mutual respect can foster an environment where great things blossom. Mama Winnie was an exceptional person; one I wish I had known. 

She was a true ‘Outlier’ in the Malcolm Gladwell definition of the term. The Canadian journalist, author, and public speaker, in his book OUTLIERS, focuses on people who do not fit into our normal understanding of achievement. Outliers deals with exceptional people, especially those who are smart, rich, and successful, and those who operate at the extreme outer edge of what is statistically plausible. Mama Winnie was most certainly an Outlier. 

Mama Winnie grew up in a time with its own challenges, yet she defied the status quo and became a nurse with a midwifery qualification. She also raised her children during apartheid, but this didn’t stop her from ensuring that they pursued their own educational goals and achieved great things. She ultimately produced five Masters’ degree holders! But she also influenced those around her to work hard, to pursue their education goals and to serve the community. Although she grew up and raised children in a patriarchal society, Mama Winnie didn’t differentiate between work for girls and boys in her house. Today, her sons can cook and clean and are supportive spouses. 

This book is a testament to Mama Winnie’s life and the legacy that she has left behind. She will continue to inspire the next generations of women through this book and by us continuing to tell her story. 

The reason Gloria penned this book, is to start a conversation around the often ‘otherness’ way we engage and talk about ‘in-laws’. She wants to change the narrative and have a positive ripple effect in the way people see themselves and relate to their mothers-in-law. Gloria’s own journey is a powerful example of what has transpired because of this loving relationship, being married for 36 years, and sharing a relationship with Mama Winnie that spanned 26 years. 

“I’m troubled by the horrible narrative around ‘in-laws’. We are brought into these families to build them. Often the first woman we meet is the one we want to kill, forgetting that the prince you’re following is her son… I want conversations to happen in houses, because as South Africans we have a backlog from history. Part of the horror story of that history is that the family was deliberately broken, the social fabric of the society had to be broken for that system to work. We need to release energy from this, to build South Africa”, says Gloria. 

Her advice to future mothers-in-law is that they are inheriting someone’s child and need to do the right thing by the other mother. She encourages women to see and use their mothers-in-law as mentors for marriage. After all, they’ve walked this road before and potentially had their own struggles and lessons, which you’ll be able to relate to. 

Gloria Serobe was interviewed by an Old Mutual Executive at a women’s month event for employees earlier this month. Watching her onscreen, Gloria is measured and oozes wisdom, where you hang on every word she is saying. 

Gloria autographing a complimentary copy of her book

Gloria is humble and pragmatic, she jokes about AMC pots making life easier because you just ‘plug and play’ rather than cooking for hours. She also mentions the convenience of Woolies ‘ready to cook’ veggies. “There’s nothing traditional about cutting cabbage, it is about the cooking and having the food ready at a certain time. You aren’t breaking the family system by bring veggies that are already cut.” She clearly doesn’t believe in sweating the small stuff and this philosophy has worked for her!

Mama Winnie was immensely intuitive and had a way of reading people. She tapped into Gloria’s strengths and enhanced these capabilities further. “She directed my energy to her community work. I was always with her, when she went to NGOs, the YWCA, black consumers union and black housewives league, among others. She read my weakness, she wanted to protect me and use me where I would be most useful. This was the biggest education. All my business is informed by this. She taught me to ask, ‘have we included all of South Africa in this?’”. Gloria says today she is much more of a community worker than business-orientated, something she credits Mama Winnie for.

Mama Winnie was an amazing inspiration to many. She did not let the limiting beliefs of others or the dogmatic Apartheid and Patriarchal rules at the time, hold her back from pursuing a meaningful life. She impacted so many peoples’ lives and left them better than she found them. This book is an opportune reminder, especially during women’s month, to apply these lessons in today’s situations for a better tomorrow for all South Africans.

But without sharing any more spoilers, you’ll have to read the book. You can get your copy of ‘An Ode to My Mother-in-Law, Winnie Serobe… a mentorship of love and honour’ at any reputable bookstore or online.

Watch the full interview with Gloria here: 

Gloria is no stranger to Old Mutual as she served as a board member for 12 years. She currently sits on the board of our Masisizane Fund. She is a founding member of Wiphold which has an investment portfolio of more than R2-billion. I attended a motivation talk by Gloria in 2014 where she shared some of her secrets for success. To read more about it click here.